Saturday, February 05, 2005


Benefits of Losing Weight and Looking Good

There is nothing more soul destroying for a wife than to live with an abusive husband. There is nothing more frightening for a mother than having to protect her children from an abusive father. Yet for many women, this sort of nightmare is part of their everyday life.

But why do certain men abuse women in the first place? Answer: because they can’t cope with life. They are so inadequate that they take their frustrations out on someone smaller. Sadly, by doing so, they cause misery to their wife and lifelong harm to their children. It’s a disgrace, especially in a country which prides itself on family values.

Do these bullies seek help for their problem? No they don’t. Why not? Because they don’t even accept that they have a problem. As far as they are concerned, they are perfectly normal: it’s their wife or partner who is the problem. It’s all her fault! She forces them to be abusive!

A husband like this is usually the world’s greatest hypocrite. He’s the life and soul of the pub, he does favours for his friends, and then he goes home and terrorises his family behind closed doors. Meanwhile, his wife feels totally isolated. She can’t confide in anyone about her husband’s abuse and often feels that it’s all her fault. This makes her feel so bad about herself that she seeks comfort in fatty food. Result? She gets fat.

Now hopefully, most of you don’t have this problem. Hopefully, you are married to a real man who treats you and the children with love and respect. However, if you are unlucky enough to be married to a bully and your weight is beginning to suffer, then here’s a bit of advice.

First, never fall into the trap of thinking that you are to blame for your partner’s behaviour. No one deserves to be abused: not you, not your children, not anyone! Besides, any man who resorts to physical or verbal abuse is not a real man: he’s a coward who can’t cope with life. In other words, you are not responsible and have nothing whatever to feel ashamed about.

Secondly, try to stand up for yourself. Tell your bully that you expect him to treat you with consideration and respect. If this fails, then try to get him to come to some sort of practical living arrangement with you, which suits you both. If you can’t do any of this, because he simply won’t listen, then perhaps it’s time for a change of scenery, especially if you have children to protect.

Thirdly, whatever you do, don’t let him turn you against yourself. For example, don’t start abusing yourself by eating rubbish all day. Although snacking on rubbish is perfectly understandable in these circumstances, it doesn’t help. It just makes you feel worse. Result? Your self confidence tumbles and you find it even more difficult to cope.

So, instead of eating rubbish and then hating yourself for doing it, find a sensible diet and follow it carefully for three months. If nothing else, it will boost your energy, keep you strong and help you regain your zest for life.

In my experience, one of the best ways of coping with an abusive husband is to keep yourself looking good. If this means losing your unwanted fat, putting on a bit of make-up and looking after your hair, then do it! Don’t forget: looking good means feeling good, and feeling good is a very powerful weapon when it comes to dealing with bullies. Mind you, so is an electric cattle-prod, but then who can rely on electricity these days?

One final word: whatever type of husband you live with, there is one thing you must do: teach your sons to respect women!

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